Am I in love?

"Am I in love?"

Isn't that the first thought you get when you try to figure out why you think of him so much?

Encounter 1 -

It was the first day of my college and we were all gathered in the auditorium for our orientation to begin. Once we were seated, we began giving our introductions and that's when I heard him say, "My rank was 195" Well, I got a 205. I was interested to see who this guy was because till now, I had the highest rank in our college but by the time I turned back, he had sat down and I couldn't see him.

Encounter 2 -

During the initial days of our college, we worked in groups. He was in one of my friend's group and that's when I saw him for the first time, our eyes met.

"Oh boy." I thought. I knew I was in trouble.

I was this girl who never made eye contact with people. Eye contact gave me chills. Cold, they felt. But this time it was different, it was warm. It felt like Christmas during summer. I couldn't get my eyes off and all I did was kept staring at him. He looked into my eyes too but it is possible that he thought I was being creepy.

I tried avoiding him thereafter. I was intimidated. But it didn't work for long.

Encounter 3 -

Ragging, or what our seniors liked to call "interaction", was why he and I started 'interacting'. He came to me and told me that some seniors were calling me to be ragged. "So tell us something about yourself." One of the seniors asked me.

"Um.. My name's Yashi, I've done my schooling from..." I started.

"Blah... Boring. Something interesting!" Another senior demanded. "Well, you can't just ask someone to talk about something interesting... you moron." I thought to myself.

"So you find her irritating?" She asked him. He was standing there while I was being ragged.

"Uh..." He was hesitating. I didn't understand what was going on so I was just looking in between them.

"You know why he called you?" She looked at me this time.

"You called me, apparently?" I told unsure of what she meant.

"We just asked him to call someone he found irritating in his class.

Boom! There I was standing, feeling completely terrible and embarrassed.

"Oh.." I said as I looked at him. I could see the guilt on his face. "Oh shit!" was clearly written across it but I was angry and more than that, I was hurt so I just smiled at the seniors and left. I didn't feel like talking to him or seeing him. I went to the class, plugged in the earphones and listened to some music but was constantly thinking about what I had just heard.

Encounter 4 -

The next day when I came to college, I couldn't look at him. I just ignored him and went on to greet other friends. He came up to me and said, "Yashi, I'm sorry."

"About what?" I said, pretending as if nothing had happened.

"About yesterday. Whatever happened with the seniors." He told. I was angry and all but it isn't common to see someone accepting their mistake so I just let it go. I wanted to ask a lot of things but I decided against it.

"It's alright." I said assuring him that things were fine with us both.

Our friendship began that day. I talked to him at college almost every day. We started having lunch together and also started hanging out after college at times.

***

It was one of our days at the workshop. We were supposed to make little cubes out of mount boards when I got a paper cut on my finger.

Don't blame me! It was the very rough sandpaper with which I was chamfering the edges of the piece. He wasn't even around when it happened and suddenly out of nowhere, he appears to comfort me. Without uttering a single word, he held my hand and dragged me to the canteen for a band-aid. (Yes, our canteen sold band-aids.) I simply got dragged by him too. He took my finger in his hand and stuck the band-aid across the cut. He did it so gently that my heart melt in my chest. I just smiled at him as we got back to class.

***

"I still can't believe you could look like a girl."

One of my friends told me.

We all went out after college hours on a long drive and we came across an old and abandoned shack by a lake. We decided to stop there to enjoy the view. We were standing by the pillar and that's when she told it.

"If you haven't noticed, I'm a girl. I'm going to look like one." I said. I was a complete tomboy.

I didn't like getting dressed up or putting on makeup and when I felt like dressing up one day, everybody lost their heads at college.

Can't blame them.

I was enjoying the view silently and everybody was talking to each other when he came and said nothing. He just pulled my cheeks and smiled. I didn't understand why he did that but it made me feel different. I've had my cheeks pulled before but why is it that everything he did felt different?

"What was that for?" I asked smiling and frowning at the same time. Believe me, that look could confuse you big time!

"No reason... You look different, by the way!", he said smiling.

He was the only person that entire day to tell me that I looked "different" and not "a girl". It felt nice.

He smiled differently too. You know how your lips curve downwards when you smile? His curved upwards. Weird, right? But that smile felt so genuine that I started to think if I was smiling right. Yup, I was THAT deep in trouble.

***

It was one of our portfolio submission days. I couldn't complete mine owing to my sister's wedding I had the previous night and I wasn't given an extension for the submission. I was upset and I cried. It was the first time I cried in front of so many people when he comes and hugs me. And yes... I'm going to repeat it, it felt different as if I had all my problems solved.

Fairytale-like, right?

Everybody I ever hugged, it was formal or it was just a regular casual one you give your friends. Not this one. This one felt like it came from someone close, someone who cared and someone who wanted to not just hug you but wants to hold you.

I read a quote somewhere - "Someone, someday, is going to hug you so tight that all your broken pieces will fix together." I wasn't aware that I needed any broken pieces to be fixed until that day.

***

He was this person who is simply a good human being, you know? I noticed eventually that all this that he did for me wasn't just for me but he was a guy who did nice things for everyone. He simply cared and wanted people around him to be happy. He would crack stupid jokes to make everyone laugh, especially if someone was sad.

He would talk politely with the waiters at cafes and also with the watchman of our college. Even the janitor at our college was in awe of him.

He once even gave away 2rs coin - to someone in need - which he had in his wallet for 2 years. All this purely out of the goodness of his soul. Maybe all this doesn't seem like a big deal but it is. Hardly anyone today cares.

He was this person I didn't ever want to let go or lose. I would go to college every day only to see more of his goodness and to be inspired by him. I wanted to be around him and with him all the time because I was sure he would care for me and simply because he made me feel good.

I was in love.